EXPECTATIONS

Time Of Your Life

2008-11-12T06:25:00.000-08:00

Hey peeps,
well it has been an interesting week for me i guess.on sunday went to boy's town for the carnival and talk about utter boredom!! lols couldn't even spend my 10 bucks worth of tickets there!! that was how sucky the whole thing was...basically just spent my time walking around. For the first time i had 3 whole bunches of friends with me that i ran around for.First my Sec 5 friends(aarone and javis only!! how pathetic is that!!),john's bunch of merrymen which included ppl like ronin. jerome, hazel, thinaesh and damian(ellen too of course) and also church ppl as well. bumped into cousin maryanne there too and i really should not have said that she was related to me cos thinaesh and jerome kept asking me to give her number to them.....anyways left with Javis and Aarone at around 1 plus and headed off to cathay to watch a movie and it was.......TROPIC THUNDER!! seriously that is one funny ass show lol so much vulgarities thrown into a 1 and a half hour packed with laughs...anyway after that went home and basically just did nothing...
Monday lessons were boring as usual, don't really remember much of the day though...anyway at night went to charge my phone for quite a while then i got a whole host of calls from all sorts of ppl but 3/4 were bxh members and a message from keith. called him and got the news that terence was leaving for Thailand the next day plus the whole of bxh except madi was going to stay at the airport to lepak with him for 1 last time b4 going off....in mind of my accounts CA the next day i at first didnt want to go but knowing that this is going to be the last time i see terence until one more year made it harder to ignore.So i pack my things and made my way to JE mrt to meet the guys...took mrt to tanah merah and arrived just when the last train to the airport left...talk about timing anyway we took a cab to the airport in the end which cost 10 bucks.okay i will update the rest tmr i need to sleep been feeling really sloppy of late

2008-11-05T05:55:00.000-08:00

Hey here again....
well today was abit messed up for me...this morning i reacted quite badly to some comments jun hong made and i am sorry for that...i guess all thats been happening finally took its toll on me but at least i apologised and everythings okay again...in the aftermath of that however i need some time alone which is me sitting to 1 side just listening to songs...i kinda broke down when i heard Warmness On The Soul by Avenged Sevenfold when really describes my situation and whats worse was that i had a accounts mock test the following period..anyway managed to do okay for it but i screwed up my trading p and l thing so ya....
school ended at 115 today when it was supposed to end at 2(i just remembered i have to do an assignment to be able to step into class)so went home the usual way..on the way home it started to rain,not the light drizzle or whatever but really full on rain!!tried to hang out at the bus stop till the rain stopped but it didnt so i took a cab home which was a total waste of $3.80...
went home auntie marina told me she is going back on the 14th of this month at 245pm so i think i will skip school to see her off....w/o her life really won't be the same

2008-11-03T03:37:00.000-08:00

Hey back again....guess i have been in the mood to blog recently....terribly bored at home..

Well went for connect session after a long time finally on sunday and i have to admit i feel pretty distant from them..i guess it was because i spent sundays with my band friends for such a long time that we didnt feel close anymore...to think it was so different about 7 months ago and how everything has just changed plus for the first time in 7 months i feel so alone...i mean i always had my friends with me alot but now i feel like with one decision everything was just taken from me...i do regret i times but what am i supposed to do?? cry bout it ?? i made it and i am sticking to it...anyway the rest of sunday did nothing but watch HEROES!!! Whole 8 hours of nothing but heroes!can't wait for the 3rd season to start:) and with a new season of HEROES comes another chance to see HAYDEN PANETIERE!! haha i have no idea why i got such a big crush on her!! anyways went to school yesterday(btw i am just updating a draft haha) feeling pretty okay...for only a handful of times this term i didnt sleep at all at class...the only reason for that is becos the CA starts next week and i really need to get my GPA up if i want to even stand a chance of getting into a POLY...all those CCA answers came in the morning when me, omar ,yaya, zana and fizah got called to the staff room to attend a meeting when the ppl in charge of some seminar thing. i kinda got scared when they said this was intense overseas thing that is going to last until june of next year. well i guess this kills any hope i had of getting a job cos if i did it would mean i had 5 things to handle. anyway i am just rambling on about nothing in particular i'll see you guys soon

2008-11-01T11:21:00.000-07:00

hey guys
well, been an interesting week for me i must say...too many things happening at once...and i don't know whether i will be able to cope with all this..
anyway auntie marina is going back for good probably in 2 weeks time...which is a big blow to me considering she was like a mother to me and now that my mum has already moved means it is just the 2 guys left in the house....and that is going to be pretty hard for me cos i guess i will be doing all the cleaning and stuff considering my dad doesn't do anything in the house...i dont think many ppl know what this is doing to me...cos i try not to show and not that i have many friends who even give a shit about me anyway so ya....its been really hard having to juggle all these responsibilities..i even am thinking bout getting a job again which will be straining on me even more considering i will have to take on school,work, music and house work all at the same time..if worse comes to worse i guess i will quit music and just carry on with my mundane life but if it means that i will be able to support myself than so be it..what was i thinking ever getting into a band again..it brought me personal satisfaction yes but also where can i go with this thing?? will we ever make it big in singapore?? maybe.... but not likely...keith told me last time if you believe in music just go for it...i have and i have failed, i have made decisions that might not bring me to where i want to in music so maybe i should just forget bout this whole thing and just GIVE UP.
But me quiting music is just one scenario there are others but i really dont want to type this out cos it will only end up making me even more depressed
as for right now i just want to be left alone....

2008-10-28T20:26:00.000-07:00

You Make My Head Spin...WHY WHY??

Hey guys Back to update finally....
i have been pretty busy these past few days with school and stuff...anyway Friday went to AVENGED SEVENFOLD in concert!!
It was great!! but kinda short though and we still had a good time watching them perform....anyway i dont want to elaborate on what happened b4 the gig cos alot of details that have to be put in...went back at about 12 plus so ya...thats all for that day
The next day woke up at about 12 i went to town to watch Blindfold Hero and Her Silent Wish perform at The Arts House Playden both of them were great though Bear had to sing for BXH cos keith went to AVENGED and had a sore throat so could not sing 3 songs but they were still pretty good and HSW had problems with the Mic plus the idiot manning the PA had a problem with Is and the way he was jumping around stage which was pretty cool...anyway after the show i smsed hilmi asking him whether he could learn one more song for our next session...however one thing led to another and then he smsed saying he wants to stop music....
Part of me just wants to release all my anger against him and tell him off but the other part told me that i have to let him go cos he really hasnt been feeling really good already for the past couple of months and him leaving the band was kinda envitable so i really couldnt blame him so i just let him go and by doing that means there is only me and john left......
Anyway that is most of the details i want to give...the rest will just have to rest with me

i'll see you guys soon....

2008-10-09T20:50:00.000-07:00

Hey People!
it's been a very long time since i posted an entry on this dead blog. But anyway its been a very interesting 4 months of my life with my band and stuff, but it seemed like the band caused more than 90% of my problems....it eventually lead to my band closing...not to sound like an asshole i already knew this would happen from the start the only thing was when it will start screwing up. people i trusted started acting f**ked up in front of my very eyes so eventually eveything fell apart which leaves me now dazed and confused...now we are restarting(me,john and hilmi)again,things are still blurry for me cos i still have doubts on whether what happened these past months will happen again but if there was anything i learnt in the past months is that i shouldn't expect too much because eventually something will happen that will throw the whole thing off so i am taking this one step at a time. anyway just got back my GPA for the first term and i got a 3.0 which is not so bad but i need to do well in my next 3 terms in order to even be able to register for a poly so i need to buck up in the next 1 and 1/2 years
well thats all for now theres so much more i want to say but it will take me the whole day to type out for you guys so i'll see ya when i see ya.....

2008-05-19T19:47:00.000-07:00

yo again! OA as boring as ever ,tired as hell and sporting aching legs.becos of 2.4 la !fat boys are never meant to run! i swear if i had a 10 cent coin for every fat boy who does not like running i will be millionaire.a moment of awkward silence later.......
anyway later having jamming for the 31st may gig feeling the stress, i dont noe i hav played a few school shows but there is something sbout an open show that scares me. i think it is because your band's outside reputation is put on the line during the whole 30 min or 45 min set. it would help if i had my friends to support but i feel they run away when ever i needed them the most.hence the term fair weathered aquiantenses which john came up with, on the 10th may gig it left me thinking, do i have any friends. comforting words from others filled my ear for the past 2 weeks but i cant help but think if that is true, at least i still have gcp if not i really don't noe how to unleash all my stress.i hope todays jamming session will help me just to relax these nerves and just let out all of my stress from school,love and just everything!!! have not felt really good these days just confused about what i am going to do, maybe i should just keep quiet and let the life i have b4 me pass by w/o caring.but w/o these moments i would nvr have the inspiration to write more songs. but as i sit here imagining the ending of this i just wonder was it meant to be or is something else planned out for me that is the question i really need to ask myself. hope listening to a happy song would cheer me up (9 in the afternoon playing in my phone now) anyway saturday went to see nep jam for their gig the next day at home club, after that(with all the ringing in my ears) we went to eat at burger king to eat and discuss about our next gig at mg(music garage) on the 31st and 6th the worst thing is that we have to get another drummer to play for us during the 6th june gig cos marius going back to philipinnes for a short while so we are hoping to get muddy from mmc to play for us which may not be a problem.then went to starbucks and lepak there for a short while with bear, isa, ameer,bruce,mj, stix ,john and ahmad until about 12 then cabbed home with the usual ppl.

the next day went to watch nep play at home club. frigging 17 bucks to get in sia!!! expensive like crazy but anything for nep ya!! the gig was great,ellen super power with her vocals!! Reach was my favourite but the rest great as well.bear and isa as usual great with their guitar work and ameer with his bass and back up vox great and bruce on drums as usual to his beating best!! anyway after that went across the bridge to hang out with nep-ellen and fino and is of her silent wish, john as well stayed until the mrning and took the first bus home anyway OA just ended update later. see ya!!

2008-05-16T05:05:00.000-07:00

hey back again have not blogged cos i got no mood to do anything these days the band has been taking up most of my time but i really enjoy the times when i am together with them...no worries.... but really not the case after i get back to my normal phase,i have been tired alot now singing my ass off and speaking of that have to blog about that fateful day on may10th

may 10th

well it was about 3 in the morning when i woke up thunder and lightning which scared the living crap out of me becos it meant it might be raining in tanjong pajar as well...talk about raining on your parade!!!lol!!anyway in the morning met up with john at his place then waited at his bus stop for helmis dad to pick us up.....a silent ride later we arrived!! met bear at ah moy food centre had our breakfast and headed back to tapac to set up....after 2 hours of purest slacker form we realised we needed to hang posters at the mrt for the directions to the place so me, marius and helmi went on a quest to find an open zapping place. after about a half hour of searching we found 1 at a semi renovated shopping centre it was about 2 then.... wait a minute... the gig was going to start!!!!rushed back to put the posters up and get set for the show all in the next hour.1st band was rising heart and omg they were great the vox especially blew me away with his vocal range amazing!!!after a half an hour wait it was our turn!!! after all the jamming and all the shit we had to go through it was finally here our first gig! play by play of the songs coming now

Disillusional decision:pretty okay but the mics and everything was screwed up so did not sound as great

face down:pretty much like the first no energy mumbled through 1/2 the 2nd verse..messed up

my heroine:mics problems screwed up the entrance ahmad could not hear me sing so did not noe when to play

Through these bright lights (my creation!!!):the song that brought us together again(in the words of john not me so hahaha)

the kill:my favourite!! i dont noe about the rest but i felt i sang this the best

i can tell:no mood already just improvised my way through the whole song but it sounded pretty damn good!!!

Forgotten predicament:it was good probably the best of the set!!!

after that packed, slacked a short while then went to eat at clarke quay mac's but tapau then set at some building and eat. i tell you that ameer(bassist of nep)damn funny sia cannot stop laughing!!then cabbed home with john,isa(guitarist of nep) and natasha slept at about 4 sia damn tired but had a great time.

our next gig will be 31st may at music garage. will let the poster speak on top

2008-04-27T19:36:00.000-07:00

hey hhey !!
friday and saturday 25 and 26th of april

i think blogging during OA has become a sort of tradition for me now...cos i reallly have no clue what i am doing!!!anyway friday went to celebrate jeremy's birthday in town shan't elaborate further becos we ended at bugis at 5am to 630am just waiting for a bus....came home at about 7am then went home to bath and sleep...in the moning jun hong called me to ask whether i will be going with the class to vivo but had auditions for the musical at 130pm so i did not go in the end....then worst of all i woke up at 230pm which meant i will miss out joining CEMPTA(centre for the music and arts) so i just ended up staying at home the whole day......

sunday 27th april
went to bras basah to meet the band for session...supposed to meet john at bpp at 9am but in the end i had to go myself because he was still at home when i called him from the busstop...1/2 an hour later i am at bras basah where i met hilmi first then a lil later after that john came and we went to the residents corner for our session...ahmad did not join us until about 1pm cos when the rest of us met he was still fast asleep...anyway finished the final touches on my original now all we need to do is finish one more song then we are ready for 10th may!!!! anyway after cabbed down to plaza with hilmi and john.hanged around for about an hour and a 1/2 to go to church becos it was too early...ran into dad on the way to church so at least he knows i went there so he would not be on my case all the time.anyway going for an all day session in church on thursday so i hope we can be prepared cos as we get closer to the date i am getting even more nervous but i think we can pull through..kay thats about all for today so see ya guys and rock on always!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-04-22T17:29:00.000-07:00

yo again i think i may be able to update quite often because OA can use computers so i mean it is boring and i got nothing to do...
yesterday came back from jamming at about 11 and got an earful from my mum but i really could not care less cos we found a new drummer!!!yesterday jamming was so good that i lost my voice not totally but still able to talk but very husky so need to rest up for the gig on may 1oth.
now need to concentrate on work becos just got and OA project which should be within my competence to do, then i got accounts which i need to study for .....
really tired right now....whats new with me anyways...jamming getting tiring but it has been fun so now i think we are ready for the gig!!anyway for more info read the poster at the top

2008-04-21T19:51:00.000-07:00

hey in OA lesson now...damn boring...feeling tired today ....this morning woke up early and took a long train ride to school....need to get used to it because my dad cant possibly drive me to toa payoh for the next 2 yrs so ya anyway bishan freaking raining like shit today got wet and starting to dry up in the cool air con of the com lab.this morning started out with SW class which is like PE but with a MCQ test which is kinda dumb but wat to do i would not be in this situation if i had studied harder for my o lvls.
later jamming at chinatown,getting tired but i need to stay commited to this band cos i can see that we can go somewhere hope that we can at least get noticed.tonights jamming hopefully we can get tight with a new drummer (marius).right now trying to be occupied by song writing and wateva just not to fall asleep right now jsut letting this process fly the time away...by the why we just finished perfecting our 3rd original which was written during the first week of school and was perfected on saturday. staurday went to arts house to watch bears band play and they were GREAT!!! this was the first time i have seen them play and they did not dissapoint..bruce the drummer you see him like very small but when he plays the whole hall will shake and he plays like crazy!!!the bass drum nearly fell off the stage!!!both guitarists fantastic really got alot of super latives for them but i cant say all. but there were bands that werent so good...but anyway amirul beside me kapoh my blog and alex too haha lol...just kidding hahah just put name for fun
OK then see you soon!!!

2008-04-21T05:16:00.000-07:00

yoyo by the request of sandy i will try and update everyday i hope i can but forgive if i am too busy k??
anyway into my second week in ite and i am real glad at how my class is getting along!!just today almost all of us went to pizza hut to have lunch and i had quite a good time got to chat with the ppl i am going to have in my life for the next 2 yrs hopefully more after we get out school and to a poly.....
this morning was pretty fcuked up cos i was late for school think when i arrived at the bus stop the bus just came so i stood at the place for about 20 mins b4 the bus came ....school was tiring today started off with business fundamentals which wasn't so fun then we had office administration probably the most boring 2 hours of my day then break came and went and it was accounting for last.... fell alseep during the lesson...lol...damn pills...haiz....anyway then after class almost the whole class with the exception of the class couple(very unsocialble)and the 3 indian girls and rare absentees amirul,alex,omar and kenneth...
after lunch went home with taufik,janice bayleen and benny or is it derrick??? whateva his name is left for home...could not stop laughing throughout the whole ride jokes and jokes galore.....in the end reached home at about 5.50pm and now i am here...tmr i still need to prepare for jamming at 6.30 at china town damn late sia but gig on 10th may and we still need to train up marius with the songs so hope it goes well tmr
thats all for now i will update real soon....i hope ;)

2008-04-16T05:33:00.000-07:00

hey i am back not blogging bcos of not bothering to update but i shall now...
just back from a 3rd day in ite and i have to admit it has been quite okay...orientation boring but starting to make a few friends in my class....the journey to bishan is a long one so my dear dad has been sending me to toa payoh and from there i take a bus to school so it has not been so bad.....joined a new band......finally i feel that i am being appreciated in a band.....but there have been alot of sessions and jamming and i really need to sort out my life and continue to do what i like to do.....SING!!!!! anyway this new band i joined consists of ex aes jp,helmi,ahmad and drummer(insert name here) as you can see still trying to find a drummer becos the one we tried out a bit fucked up so we need to find a new one b4 our gig in may...and yes we have a gig on may 10th which is cool considering i have not played a gig in a long time so i am really excited to bring our music out there and the nbest thing is we have our own originals whixh has been great
Well thats all for now hope to update as soon as possible!!

2008-02-06T21:56:00.000-08:00

hey back again.....havent blogged for a damn long time cos my life really didnt need explaining....however things change.....y did i name my blogs expectations?? well that word has 4eva been etched in my mind cos i have not been able to meet them which can be really frustratin' ...... o lvls were a bust for sure cos i didnt do well and to my expectations(hey thats the name of the blog!!!)anyway if you have been wondering what i have been doing during the hols....we broke up thats all i want to say only those close to me will noe who i am toking about ....working at ntuc again bukit panjang this time bcos traveling to finest will be annoying noeing that there is another ntuc closer which i can work at.......and also there are more younger ppl there which made it a lil bit more comfortable for me ppl like tong yao,darren,ncc,gabriel,sandy,kia yim, wan xin and the rest as well so it has been pretty alright but even though i have had experience i am still making rookie mistakes which really piss me off and it is so frustrating....another piece of news is that my parents caught me smoking again.......now i need to earn back that trust from my dad so i can go out again haiz...i just feel so tired now ill just have to contend with another few months of work until ite starts....well i will see what happens well i decided to add another segment my playlist for this week which may change as the week goes....
1st:home improvement by red jumpsuit apparatus
2nd:down to my last by alterbridge
3rd:letters to you by finch
4th:poetically pathetic by amber pacific(drums there are great!!!)
last of all:you and me by lifehouse